15 Aug Using Discretion When Finding A New Partner
Finding a new partner during a divorce can seem like wonderful progress. Many people want to find a new partner as quickly as possible, often to distract themselves from the pain of getting divorced. They feel that the marriage has been over for a long time and that they want to move on with their lives. Certainly there is nothing wrong with finding a new partner as long as you do not use this new relationship as a weapon against your ex.
What can happen among divorcing partners is that only one person finds a new partner, causing a great deal of emotional upset in the other party. When one partner feels left behind or betrayed, it can cause old abandonment issues to surface. These memories can be very painful and as adults this usually manifest as anger. Negotiating with an angry person is much more difficult than negotiating with a sad person for obvious reasons.
Flaunting your new partner in the face of your ex will only succeed in make your divorce and negotiations more difficult. Having one person sitting in a mediation and acting as though their lives are so much better because they have got rid of their spouse is totally destructive.
Great care should be taken to use discretion with your new partner and relationship. Until your divorced is finalized it is a good idea to not tell the children, or post it on social media platforms like Facebook or Instagram. If you think you are immune because you are no longer friends with your ex on social media, think again. Many a heated argument in divorce settlement negotiations has been sparked by just this.
As neither spouse is obliged to disclose what is happening in their private lives, it is very important to keep information about your new partner (and particularly what you are doing with them) private. Even if both parties do have new significant others it is still essential that this is not discussed, particularly if it is used as an opportunity to try and hurt the other person.